Rigid Character Structure
The Achiever/The Perfectionist
I’ve a driving need to succeed in all areas of my life. I want to look good, have a model family, and be successful in my career. It’s hard for me to relax and have fun because there’s so much I need to do. I don’t easily express my feelings, and sometimes I can’t even identify what they are. It’s difficult for me to let go and be silly. I often feel like I’m on autopilot, just going through the motions, making sure everything on my to-do list gets checked. It feels like life is passing me by.
Early Wound: If you have the rigid character structure, your parent or caretaker most likely squashed or rejected your natural feelings of aliveness, spontaneity, sexuality, and love. This gave you the message that the best way to receive love was to suppress all feelings and become the perfect, model child.
Behavioral and Psychological Characteristics
- Need for perfection and success
- High achiever
- Suppressed feelings
- Fear of emotional vulnerability and making mistakes
- Difficulty being playful
- Live life appropriately, not authentically
- Hard to relax because there is always something to do
Gifts: function well in the world, provide practical wisdom, maintain discipline and a strong will, competent, committed and reliability, have a strong work ethic
Write down at least 20 or more answers to one or more of these questions. Choose the ones that are most uncomfortable or threatening.
Who would I be if I were incompetent?
Who would I be if I were foolish?
Who would I be if I were useless?
Who would I be if I were unproductive?
At first you may come up with negative responses, such as “I’d be a loser; I’d be unloved,” but if you work at this long enough, going deeply within, positive responses such as “I would be free” will likely emerge.
See Chapter 6 of Hidden Treasure — The Book for more information.